Horror vs. Remake

Monday, 25 January 2010 00:00

Films - News

Written by: Carol Sullivan Since we discovered that, with a little ingenuity, we could create things, it has been human nature try to re-invent the wheel. We are constantly trying to best our predecessors; sometimes succeeding gloriously; often times stumbling around in the dark, babbling expletives under our breath.

Whether the question is Coke vs. Pepsi, Dog vs. Cat, or electric vs. classic blade-shaver, the fans of both sides will argue their favorite to the bitter end, and this spirit of competition is alive and well in Hollywood, rumbling through movie-going audiences everywhere, specifically the Horror Movie vs. The Remake.

Wherever your loyalties lie, we have compiled a list of the best, and worst, horror remakes of the last ten years. So whether you love them or hate them, the subject of the horror movie vs. its remake is bound to stir up healthy discussions and passionate debates, among horror film lovers, for decades to come.

BEST REMAKES

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

© 2004 Universal Studios
This remake of George A. Romero's '78 zombie hit is a fast-paced thrill ride that gives us yet another reason to avoid the mall. Vicious zombie fun from start to finish. Trailer

A worldwide plague is producing aggressive, flesh-eating zombies, and a group of survivors take refuge in a mega Midwestern shopping mall.

Friday the 13th (2009)

© 2009 New Line Cinema
Camp Crystal Lake...I think this is where 'campy-horror' got its name and the original is one of my favorites. While it is an annual tradition on Halloween in my home, the remake is a great blend of all the originals. It is a fast paced slasher that respects its predecessors. Trailer

A group of young adults discover a boarded up Camp Crystal Lake, where they soon encounter Jason Voorhees and his deadly intentions.

Halloween (2007)

© 2007 Dimension Films
The 1972 original is easily one of my favorites and a hard one to top. Though different, Rob Zombie's interpretation of this classic is terrifying horror perfection. Trailer

Evil Has A Destiny. Rob Zombie focuses on the early years of young Michael Myers and the events leading up to his fateful Halloween night murder rampage in the quiet town of Haddonfield, Illinois.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

© 2006 Fox Atomic/20th Century Fox
The original 1977 Wes Craven's nuclear fallout, inbred-mutant horror flick is a twisted classic. The remake is just as dark, jamming out even more terrifying fun. Gotta love them both! Trailer

A suburban American family is being stalked by a group of psychotic people who live in the desert, far away from civilization.

The Last House on the Left (2009)

© 2009 Rogue Pictures
The remake of the terrifying and gritty 1972 classic is a remake at its best. The scares and tension are bumped up a notch for raw terror that sticks with you long after the film is over. Trailer

After kidnapping and brutally assaulting two young women, a gang led by a prison escapee unknowingly finds refuge at a vacation home belonging the parents of one of the victims -- and the tables turn.

My Bloody Valentine (2009)

© 2009 Lionsgate
The '81 slasher classic was campy horror at its finest and the remake does it justice. Though, I don't believe the addition of 3-D is necessary in any horror flick, it added to the Whoah-factor in this fun remake. Trailer

Tom returns to his hometown on the tenth anniversary of the Valentine's night massacre that claimed the lives of 22 people. Instead of a homecoming, however, Tom finds himself suspected of committing the murders, and it seems like his old flame is the only one will believes he's innocent.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

© 2003 New Line Cinema
The 1974 Tobe Hooper original is the first horror film I ever saw and it holds a special, warm and fuzzy place in my horror heart. Leatherface is one of the best villains of all time and his image is heart-stopping in this cool remake. A terrifying and solid scare from beginning to end. Trailer

A group of friends passing through are stalked and hunted down by a deformed killer with a chainsaw in order to sustain his poor family who can only afford to eat what they kill.

Best Remake of All Time?
John Carpenter's The Thing (1982)

© 1982 Universal Pictures
Definitely. The original alien, self-preservation and human host flick must've scared the bejesus out of audiences when it was released in 1951. In 1982, proving that imitation is the highest form of flattery and with the utmost respect for the original shining through; John Carpenter gives us a fantastic and terrifyingly primal remake. The film's delicious tension, claustrophobic atmosphere and talented cast make this remake the best of all time. Trailer

Scientists in the Antarctic are confronted by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of the people that it kills.

Worst. Remakes. EVER. The Amityville Horror (2005)

The 1979 classic horror tale was cheesy fun; how can one go wrong with flies and a priest? Now we get rock-music and Ryan Reynolds? Who did we piss off in a previous life to deserve crappy films like this?

April Fools Day (2008)

The original was slasher fun at its best. With a ridiculous story line and horrible acting by all, digesting this remake was like trying to swallow a Buick.

Day of the Dead (2008)

The remake of the 1985 George A. Romero favorite leaves a lot to be desired. It's hard to get excited about a film with "Need to Feed" in the title. I mean, come on, smart zombies? Speedy spider-monkey zombies? Right from the gate, this film was just a bad idea.

The Fog (2005)

Gobs of CG and a cast of the young and beautiful were not enough to get this remake even in the same zip-code as the original. Corny one-liners and references to the power of the sea were about as much fun as a marathon of the Weather Channel. Watch cartoons, they're scarier.

The Haunting (1999)

Woof, does this movie stink on every level; it proves that no matter how much money or star power you throw at a film, if it sucks, it sucks. Wouldn't have taken much to re-do the 1963 haunted castle film with style and scares, but somehow these filmmakers managed to screw it up on a monumental scale.

House of Wax (2005)

Because when I think horror, I think Paris Hilton. Seriously???? Enough said.
[Even the initials for this film spell 'HoW'... - Lisa Fore]

It's Alive (2009)

The remake of Larry Cohen's '74 classic has more problems than just missing our favorite milkman scene. Low budget production value, a lousy script and horrible acting all make me think that French-kissing a water buffalo would be preferable to this waste of a film.

The Omen (2006)

The original 1976 child-o'-Satan film with Gregory Peck is hard to top on a good day. With the non-scary kid and video-game CG, the magic just isn't there and it causes this remake to just fall flat. Stick with the original.

Prom Night (2008)

The eighties held some great campy horror films and the original 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis screamer glows golden when compared to its tripe of a twin. With an unbelievable hunky-villain and predictability on a painful level, one needs heavy medication or at least a nap after watching this new one.

When a Stranger Calls (2006)

The 1979 classic 'the killer is in the house' scared the crap out of every teenager and baby-sitter in America. Its remake is 90 minutes of teen-clichés and predictability; even the trailer gave away the identity of the villain! I'd rather sponge-bathe Ernest Borgnine than ever watch this one again!

The Wicker Man (2006)

The 1973 anti-male cult-classic, full of scary Pagan stuff and a wicked ending should have been a no-brainer. Though I love Nicholas Cage, his acting in this one made me wish the bees would just get him so the movie would end.

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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 27 January 2010 05:12 )