Reviewed by Carol Sullivan
Genre: Horror
Rating: Not Rated
Director: Josef Rusnak
Starring:
Bijou Phillips, James Murray, Raphaël Coleman, Owen Teale
On DVD: October 6th, 2009
Studio: First Look Pictures
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It seems that, more often than not, a horror re-make is a bad idea, right? With the exception of movies like The Last House on the Left and Halloween, re-makes of this genre have a better than 50/50 shot of really jumping-the-shark. Perhaps it's the dream of a young director or writer to re-make a classic; but they often lack the imagination, funding, or both, to whip the re-make into critical success.
The 2009 re-make of Larry Cohen's 1974 classic, It's Alive, seems to suffer from this debilitating re-make syndrome; lack of....well...everything. What starts out bad, only circles the drain from there and I am left to wonder...doesn't one of my son's old Barney-the-Purple-Dinosaur movies hold more cinematic excellence?
It's Alive begins as a young Lenore (Bijou Phillips, Hostel II) quits grad-school to move in with her beau and have her un-planned baby.
But, the minute that Baby Daniel arrives, people, as well as animals, begin to die all around him. Not just keel over, mind you; these are gruesome and brutal deaths. When the young mother begins to suspect that her precocious tyke is to blame, Lenore tries to hide the evidence and deny the truth. When neither fur, nor feathers, nor 5 o'clock shadows will stop this murderous munchkin's blood-lust, even mommy may no longer be safe...
Now it may sound like I am poking a little fun at this film...well, yes, I guess I am...but
It's Alive is just so bad on every level; from the cheesy CG work on the baby to the terrible acting and voice overs, to the forced script and dialogue. I had to sit on my hands for the entire length of this film; shaking my head, wishing I'd rented something else and quietly resisting the urge to put the disc through a couple of spins in my sink's garbage-disposal.
Like tooth decay, the re-make of It's Alive should be avoided at all costs.
Not recommended as a rental or a purchase...
Overall Rating: ZERO STARS
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 18 November 2009 14:20 )
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