Reviewed by Carol Sullivan
Genre: Horror
Rating: R
Director: Richard Friedman
Starring:
Alison Brie, Kane Hodder, Denise Crosby, James Callahan
Studio: Lightning Home Entertainment
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We have all rented them at one time or another; the horrendously bad horror flick that makes us want to hunt down the filmmakers that made it, shove the DVD in their deranged little hands and politely suggest that they do something obscene with it.
The movie, Born, is one of those movies, folks. Hmmm, where do I begin?
We meet Mary Elizabeth (Alison Brie); a sweet virgin teen who still lives with her doddering father (James Callahan, Return of the Living Dead III) and her uber-religious sister, Catherine (Denise Crosby, Pet Semetary). After a strange, nightmarish vision at her mother's funeral, Mary Elizabeth returns home and feels rather ill. Not sure what has happened to her, she is horrified when she finds that she has gained 15 pounds overnight and cannot stop throwing up.
Yep, you guessed it, innocent little Mary Elizabeth is with-child. She assures her mortified family that she is still a virgin and they do not believe her until dear old dad gives her a vaginal exam. With her legs in the air, Mary Elizabeth chats with Dad as her sister looks on; as if this is perfectly normal family behavior. Now, I don't know about you, but having my father examining my privates is not on my top ten list of 'fun things to do today'.
I managed to get past this scene and struggled through the rest of the horrible acting and story line, when suddenly it happened; the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen a horror movie do. Mary Elizabeth soon realizes that she is carrying some demon spawn and, in her frantic state of denial, jumps in her car. She is tooling down the road when something in the rear view mirror catches her eye.
Looking back at her, from the mirror, is a rubber, demon-baby face with red eyes. The baby prop is already so fake looking, but then it happens... It opens its rubber lips and squeaks "Mama". I tell you folks, I about fell off the couch with laughter.
Born only circles the drain from there and, though I shook my head through the rest of it, it is an hour and a half of my life that I will never get back. I had to remind myself, repeatedly, that I had paid for the privilege. So, if someone offers you this DVD for free...RUN!
Definitely one of the worst movies that I have ever suffered through and only recommend it as shiny thing for your dog to play with.
Overall Rating : ZERO Stars
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 18 August 2009 17:58 )
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