Autopsy (2008)

Wednesday, 06 May 2009 00:00

Reviewed by Carol Sullivan

Genre: Horror
ON DVD: March 30, 2009
Rating: R for some violence, brief sexuality/nudity and language

Director: Adam Gierasch
Starring: Ashley Schneider, Eric F. Adams, Michael Bowen, Jenette Goldstein, Arcadiy Golubovich, Ross Kohn
Studio: After Dark Films

Okay, folks, I've finally watched the last of the 2008's After Dark - Eight Films to Die For. Autopsy, the latest (and arguably the worst of them all), was a sour note to end on...

Autopsy begins at Mardis Gras, where five, very drunken friends make the timeless and idiotic decision to drive off into the night. As often happens, this 80-proof road trip ends with a wrecked car and bruised passengers. Being miles from civilization, or even a phone, these kids are not puzzled when an ambulance rolls-up; its lights flashing.

The tattooed and strange EMT's urge them to get in and soon they are arriving at Mercy Hospital. It's a creepy enough place, but again, these yahoo's don't seem to notice that there's a lack of the normal hospital activity; the buzz of staff, patients and visitors armed with flowers in the halls. So, they go along with things, but will soon discover that Dr. Benway (Robert Patrick, Terminator 2) and his team of misfits are there, it seems, for the sole purpose of conducting horrible experiments on stupid college kids who happen to stumble through the doors....

Now that I've said all that, I'm still trying to figure out what the point was to Autopsy. Near as I can tell, the filmmakers decided we needed a pointless and gory movie to make our day complete. Why? Because they could, that's why.

At first I thought the movie was taking a silly, comic approach; I realized, to my horror, soon after, that they were serious about this film. Woof. So we have a poorly written story, bad acting, buckets of fake-blood and various wayward internal organs. But that is all Autopsy has to offer.

One can throw gallons of ketchup at any movie; it doesn't make it good horror.

DVD is not recommended as either a rental or a purchase. Though, in a pinch, it does make for a great Frizbee substitute.

Overall Rating: 0

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Last Updated ( Thursday, 07 May 2009 17:05 )